SADNESS THAT IS INEXPLICABLE - 无法解释的悲伤

I've been so weird these days .
Many things happened to me .
but I'm kind of senseless and starting to lost myself .
I don't know what i am really thinking .
I don't know what i am doing .
I can't express myself
and I am so suffer .
the weirdy thing is
I'm very normal physically but not mentally .
I act normal `
I talk normal `
and I do looks normal `
I'm kind of contradict -.-''
I hope my juniors can tell me what they are thinking
but my juniors ask me to tell them what i am thinking too .
they felt unfair .
but the thing is not i don't wanna tell them ,
but is actually me myself also don't know what i am thinking .
that's the main and also the biggest problem .
they tell me that they can settle their problems their self
but should I let go and let them solve their problems by their own self ??
to be frank
I can't solve their problems
I don't have the ability to solve those problems
conclusion: I AM A FAILURE
they felt very sorry to me
I had listened to the word 'SORRY' for many many times d
what I want to listen from them not this word
but they felt very sorry to me and they just keep on saying sorry
this is not I want
the more they repeat the word 'SORRY' the more guilty i felt
I feel like I should be the one that need to say sorry to them
they wanted to help me because they felt that I am stressed
they want me to share my sorrows with them
is not that I don't want
sometimes.. things are really hard to say
I know you all care about me
what i want to say is thank you and
I'm touched
although I'm
'down' 'depressed' 'helpless' 'sad'
'guilty' 'frustrated' 'moody' 'lost my own path'
I wont GIVE UP anyone of you
I'm scared that I can't handle so many of you
but I'll still do my very best to give the greatest support to all of you
no matter what, I'll still be there for all of you .



SPECIALLY FOR ALL MY JUNIORS ALTHOUGH THEY MAY NOT SEE THIS POST
-YiLiNg``