something that I should at least be greatful

Throughout this whole semester, it seems that there are so many unhappy moments that I've gone through.

In fact, I didn't give up on any of my task and basically, I'm trying my best to do the best I can.

I contributed and given my best commitment which I thought it could repay me with something worthy. However, the reality of this society where people will not remember what so good you have done, but easily, they can condemn you with your mistake. That is an ugly yet sad truth.

And things came out of my expectation, I always thought that we can see one's capabilities from our eyes. However, people always have different perceptions on things, so that is beyond my control. And I shall stop my comment on that.

There are so many times where I thought my friends can be very frank with me, but all I heard was from people's mouth regarding how they actually felt. Guess they wanted to, but they know they shouldn't. Hey, I have the rights to know and what are true friends when things turn out to be not so true?

To be frank, I didn't stay in  my hostel anymore and I left my room mate crying for nights. So, you can say I am a bad room mate? I will leave that to you. but do remember, everything happens for a reason. Anyway, this is not going to distance me and my room mate. Remember I told you, we look for long term not only short term kay, sueling tan?

Have you ever felt like people taking you for granted and you don't feel appreciated when you have done something good for people? Do you continue giving the best you can, or you stop doing so?

Only two semester left, I shall not quit as I've given so much to my society. Not worth to do it now, no matter how tough it will be, I shall stay and try my best to make things right. I know I hated so much on the stressful life I had during the last two semester, what should I be afraid of when the worst had already passed. I want to be happy with life, running away from problem is not the way to solve problems. Come on, it is just a small obstacle in front of me, I believe I can do much better on that.

For my peers who wanted to leave, I wish them the best for their decision. I should respect it, though deep down I really don't want any of them to quit. Do you guys still remember how did we actually become close friends in uni, and what had once make us feel so united to be in a circle? I just want to look things on a brighter side. I realized I've been so much negative ever since I started my so called university life.

I understand their reasons for quitting because I was one of them who had the thought, too. It is a norm like you just remember all those awful moments which had made you so damn frustrated but you've forgotten what had once make you feel happy.  It is the same as the ugly truth I've stated above. When there is no hope, we have the power to light up the situation. So, it all depends on us. We have the power to change.

Till now, I've run away so far from my title which I planned to write. I felt so greatful that I still have my dearest man to be with me in all the hard times. I couldn't love you less for you are the one who had given so much to me. And now, you might think, nah, your blog post is about Ivan again?! No, you are absolutely wrong. I just wanted to be greatful for what I had. Also, to my parents, who are always there to help me out.

Actually, I feel happy with my mid term grades. Although it is just a mid term, it still an achievement for me. I hope I will have the urge to continue to strive until my final. Ooops. No, I haven't started my revision. Shall claim something from my parents. :P All I did was last minute work for my midterm but it proves that short term memory helps much in answering questions.

Indeed, I feel lost, still. But, I'm finding my way back. Guess I deserve a LIKE for this post? You guys keep on giving me NO LIKE for quite some time already.

I wish everyone in every stage of their life the very best in  everything you do. When you feel like giving up, remember to think about the reason why you hold on for so long.

pieces of shit

I just need a way, a direction.

I don't wanna live up with people's expectation, but why is it so hard to do?

Can I just don't give a damn on that?

I don't like it when people tends to hide their true feelings, come on, tell me and i'll feel better. 

Why talk to me so mean? It hurts so much inside.

Feel so damn awful without knowing the reason why.

I thought we were all true to each other?

Damn it. Hate it. Screw it.