Dear all,
It's been awhile. Hope all of you are doing well. And if you're not, it's fine, give yourself some time. :)
2017 has been a major year and life is full of ups and downs ever since then.
2017 was an important year where I finally had the taste of how does it taste like to be an adult.
Growing up just over the night is a hell of nightmare. Life is unplanned, life is short, life is full of surprises. You really never see it coming and when it does, life doesn't give you enough time to swallow, digest and accept whatever reality hits you right at the moment.
There's so much to talked about on my 2017 and it is beyond words to describe what I've went through. I won't say I have gone through the worst, as I believe I should always feel contented with what life is giving me. Even at worst time, there are so much to be grateful for. It is because of there's so much to be grateful for that doesn't make my situation look even worse. I know, and I deeply understand that I am among the lucky ones where even at times like these, people who care shows their love to me and my family.
So, dad passed away at 30th of June, last day of the month. it's been 10 months since then.
Even so, his legacy and beliefs stay. He's been with me physically for the past 25 years and he will still be with me in my heart forever more. The departure of loved ones has taught me so much and I hope this doesn't sound too sad when we talked about departed ones.
My dad once said the stage is all yours now when I got my first permanent job at Cisco. A simple sentence but I can feel so much expectations he is putting on me just by that one simple sentence. It is time for me to shine and to continue do what I believe is the right thing to do. I always believe in spreading the positivity to people surrounding me. I try to stay away from toxic people and just focusing on people who can shed more light on me to be a better self.
The purpose of me writing this is to emphasize that we should all practice on how to deal with separation, especially to people we care. People come and go. Death is such an everyday cycle where it happens every day just like how many babies are born each day. When one is about to leave, we should learn to let go and accept rather than keep holding on, trying to keep that someone to us.
There are so many things I've learned and gained through the 18 last days with my dad.
Firstly, when one is ill, all they deeply wanted is to end this suffering as soon as they can. What hold them back is the family ties they had when they're healthy and alive. As a family member, we should support and respect the will of the patient be it to live or to end this. On my case, my dad's will to live is too strong but his organs condition are seriously not supporting his will and I turned out to be the one who decide if we shall continue to give treatment or not. That's the hardest decision I have made to date! I pray that none of you have to go through this in life. Just because we selfishly want that person to live doesn't mean they have to live up to our expectation, respect their will.
Secondly, don't keep your emotion to yourself. It is perfectly fine to cry when you're sad. It is fine to being fragile at times when things are so hard. You don't have to be strong, don't be so hard to yourself. I came across times where I don't have a space to breathe and to let go of my emotions. I am literally suffocating myself up and make myself miserable af. My advise is that if there's ever anyone who has to deal with separation, be there to listen to their emotion. And yes, all we have to do is to listen to how they feel. It is by acknowledging your emotions that you can deal and move on from there. To not be able to express your emotions is one of the worst feeling on earth, at least for me it is. And it is highly possible that lead to depression.
Thirdly, whatever problems we are facing are minor unless it is related to death. Because there's nothing more important than living a healthy life. If today I have problem with my peers, my boss, my friends, a random driver on road, why do we have to stress ourselves out and putting our energy getting mad at them, or even holding grudges on people who once offended you. I strongly believe that there's nothing more severe than dealing with death, if one problem doesn't cause death, they are very minor to me ever since then. So to be able to let go of putting problems are what I've learned the most.
Now that I've gained so much from dealing with the separation with my beloved dad. It is important for me to keep holding on with all the values he has taught me throughout his entire life. Not only that, it also taught me how to be a grown up and continue to hold my families up at bad times like this. Also, to continue to spread the positivity to people around us. Let's together be a better person and be positive dealing with death. :)
Yours truly,
Yi Ling
*ps: I wrote whatever came into my mind and being very lazy to proofread/correct any grammatical errors. please bear with me and thanks for reading! I hope I am able to spread this positivity to you even with a heavy topic like this.*
